A public confession may be the only way for me to fight my demons. I can’t go on like this. I can’t sleep. I can’t stop shaking. All I can do is think about you. Yes you coffee, you wonderful, deliciously addicting temptress.
Coffee, I adore you. You are my elixir. You make all the bad things go away with that first sip-gulp-sigh of early morning. The sensation is physical, mental and emotional. A release of the building tension caused by the stress of a day anticipated but, simultaneously gives you the strength you need to handle the day. Like some sort of double fisted miracle of liquid.
Coffee, I worship you. I am a firm believer in all your goodness, your positive attributes, your multitudinous health benefits. I am your blind servant, ignoring the naysayers and the studies that say you are evil. Blasphemous! Because coffee, you are a god.
Coffee you corrupt me. You are so tempting, you make me covet and you make me want. If someone dare defy the natural order of the universe and take that last cup of coffee from the pot? I will steal every surreptitious sip of their drink that I can and say nothing when the cup owner becomes unnerved. What coffee I say? I saw no coffee. I become a devious hoarder when you are on sale, hoarding BOGO buys for stolen pots in the dead of night. Oh coffee, how I lie for you!
Coffee you entrance me, mesmerize me with your fresh brewed odor of black gold. I just can’t stay away and never do I pass up a chance to consume you. Anybody want coffee?’ is my Pavlovic bell and I cry ‘Me! Me! I do! I do!’ before I have even had time to think. How did you get such a hold on me? Why can’t I escape you? Oh coffee, coffee, you beautiful, double edge sword of wonder. You make me dream of you, of your bitter yet enticing flavor. Oh coffee, it is not I that consumes you, but you that consumes me.
Coffee, I can’t quit you. I am yours completely and I need help. I must find my way back from the edge, find my way back to sanity. To find my way to normalcy, to between three and five cups a day. I could live there, I could do that. Help me coffee, allow me to get there. Coffee I need your help!
Oh coffee, my coffee, let me return to a life that includes, but is not dominated by you. Let me find a world with variety, with days where I drink tea, or hot chocolate or some other hot beverage I haven’t tried yet. I need a world where there is more to waking up besides you in my cup. I need choice. I need some space. Because without you, dearest coffee, without your hold…there is freedom.
Oh coffee, oh king of beverages, oh elixir of life! I beg you, let me be free.